You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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