please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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