Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
