Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
