he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
