don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
