I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize