I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
