I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
