community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
