I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
