I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
