He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
