I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
