I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
