just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
