can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize