In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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