Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it because I queefed?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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