Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
