ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
