yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
True strength comes from lack of pants
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
