erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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