dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
