Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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