I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
