So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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