So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
