it wasn't lemon gatorade
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
