I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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