It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
