What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
