just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
sex in a hospital.. check
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
