please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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