Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
