its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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