Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize