Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize