Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
