Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
