I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
