I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
