So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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