I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
