we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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