I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
