My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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