we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize