see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
