i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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