I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize