"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Terrible idea I love it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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