just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
