i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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