great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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