All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
