Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
