It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
