she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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