Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
