"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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