out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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