try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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