I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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