he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
