All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
