well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
